


It's All Too Cruel (From Beginning to Middle to End)

by FixerRefutation



Series: Ouma Kokichi's Theory of 'Happiness.' [6]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: ? - Freeform, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Flowers, Gen, I forced myself to rewatch chap 4 trial for this, Sad, sob, someone dies but it isn't specified just implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-08 12:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14694339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FixerRefutation/pseuds/FixerRefutation
Summary: He smiles, as kind and as gullible as ever, and for a moment, Kokichi just wants to stop.





	1. I will

**Author's Note:**

> Gonta wasn't entirely blameless. 
> 
> But that wouldn't stop Kokichi from feeling as guilty as hell.

"O..Okay! Gonta not smart, but Gonta is strong, and Gonta wants to help everyone!"

Kokichi remembers those words.

"..the culprit is Gonta."

It's the truth. the harsh, painful truth. 

"Gonta! If you understand, then do it right!"

"..Argue back already! Just make an excuse or..whatever!" (please, the unsaid word at the end.)

"..That's what you've been saying this whole time!" Please, please, please..

"The thing you guys wanted so badly..!"

"A truth without any lies!" No kind lies. No cold lies. No gentle lies. Nothing but the truth. The truth no one wanted, but needed.

It almost..hurt, to see Gonta like this. When Shuichi recounted the whole case, he could see Gonta's despair, curling around his feet, an inky-black darkness of absolute regret, misery, a _whywhywhyhowcouldihavedonethis-_

"Why Gonta do such terrible thing?!"

His heart clenched. There was a lump in his throat. He felt about ready to cry.

"A despair that makes you want to put everyone out of their misery.."

Oh, now he was crying.

"Everyone..hates me.. so the role of the villain is perfect for me.."

"..It should have been my responsibility!" They were running down his cheeks, honest crying, just like the end of the first trial.

When Gonta defended him,  _lying, manipulative, scum,_ he was genuinely surprised, at an absolute loss of words. So that's why he made his decision. If Gonta was going to die, it only made sense, right?

Kokichi had to die, too. 

They were, after all, the 'Killing Game Busters.' 

It was both of their faults.

"Wait! If you're going to punish him, then please... punish me too."

His atonement. His 'apology' to Gonta. 

_I'm so sorry. I'msososorrypleasejustyellatmeorpunchmeor something **anything** please-_

Everyone else's voices were just background noise as he tried, _tried, tried_ to _apologize_. 

I'm prepared for it! If you're going to execute Gonta, then I-!" They would die together. It was only fitting. Then Alter Ego Gonta spoke, asking Kokichi to let Gonta himself atone for his sins. No, please, he wanted to say, wanted him to just stop _stop_ being so nice let me _do this for you_ **for everyone** cause _ **what's one less annoyance**_ -

Gonta asks him to promise that everyone would become friends. He couldn't keep that promise he couldn't it was his fault they would hate him and honestly he wouldn't blame them-

"..Okay, I promise."

His final lie to Gonta.

Monokuma's words cut through his heart, ice cold, gleeful, and sharp. "I've prepared a special punishment for him!"

Nno no no not Gonta I'm sorry please not Gonta it wasn't him no no- Tears flowing unashamedly, he cried out, "W-wait, please! I don't want this! Don't go, Gonta!" Not like this, not so **soon he'd thought he'd have more _time_** -

"Don't cry, Kokichi.. Gonta.. is okay.." that was a lie and he **knew** it-

"Gonta loves you all!"

"Gonta is so sorry.. for being stupid!" 

His last words. Hislast-last- _why_?

Why did he even do this in the first place?

Why couldn't he have- tried to speak to Miu? Why couldn't he have thought of something other than murder?

It was so stupid. Gonta wasn't stupid. He was the stupid one. He wanted to stop the murder game, he had a policy against murder..! 

Then why..why? 

He wanted to stomp and scream.

He wanted to rake his fingers through his hair and fall to the ground, weak knees trembling, shaking.

He wanted to throttle Monokuma.

He wanted to hug Gonta, apologize apologize apologize please forgive me

Anything, _anything to keep Gonta alive._

 Anything to keep Gonta with him. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

Why couldn't...why did.. why did this have to ..happen..?

He had the blood of two people on his hands. 

..

He really did fit the role of a villian. 

So, he decided to fulfill Gonta's last wish himself. If everyone banded over a common goal, Gonta's final wish would be filled.

Maybe his promise to Gonta wouldn't be a lie.

He would be ostracized, sure, but he was already ostracized anyway. And even so, he didn't mind .

This was for Gonta. 

_I really am sorry._

He put on his most horrifying face, put up an act ( ~~like he always did~~ ), and played his role.

This is my fault.

This is my punishment.

(He didn't know if his tears were a lie anymore.)


	2. Sing no Requiem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ..

_*shh*_

 

_*krrrrk!*_

 

_*zzz..*_

 

_> a.afjkjht..sg..hey_

_"..ey, Gonta?"_  
  


_".."_

_"Goooooonnnttaaaaaa?"_

_".."_

_"..are you ignoring me?"_

_"..Oh! Hello, Kokichi! Gonta sorry, checking on bugs!"_

_"Oh, reallly?"_

_"Yes! Does Kokichi want to take look too?"  
_

_"..hmm, okay! But it better be cool! Show me the best one you got!"_

_"Cool.. but all bugs cool!"_

_"Hmm, okay then, show me the most interesting bug!"_

_"Interesting..?! But all bugs interesting!"_

_"..Fine then, just show me a bug already!"  
_

_"Hmm, okay! Wait here, Kokichi!"_

_*schhhff, schhhf*_

_*thump*_

_*schlf, schhf*_

_"..Found it!"_

_"Woooaaahh.. what is that?"_  
  


_"Hemaris Thysbe!"_  
  
"Hemaris..what?"  


_" ..Oh, ah, 'hummingbird clearwing!'"_

_"..and what's that?"_

_"a moth!"_

_"..a moth? But it doesn't look anything like a moth! ...Are you lying to me, Gonta?"_

_"No, no! colorful, unique moth!"_

_*aafd >gdfh...,.<.afsdf*_

_"..what?"  
_

_"Reminds Gonta of Kokichi!"_

_"adfgjflk.. <><><>,/?!fsgyqer"_

_"...Gonta..?"_

_"Yes, Kokichi?"_

_"..Can you.. just not.."_

_"Not what?"_

_"...ple...op..d..nt...be...o..ni...e..me.."  
_

_"..But gentlemen always nice!"_

_"..nevermind, then.."_

_"..hey, Gonta. I'm going to go check on Miu."_

_" Does Kokichi want Gonta to come?"_

_"It's fine if you don't want to. See ya later!"_

_"..okay!"_

_walking away._

 

"I.."

"Did he regret what happened or not?"

"I.. i don't know, Maki."

"Nyeh..so there was another side to him.."

"Not very convincing."

"..Maybe he really did regret those deaths, Maki. I mean.."

"what?"

"I admit, it was kinda creepy, but i just wanted to see what he was doing after the trial.."

"and?"

"he..he went to.. the **Ultimate Inventor's Lab**."

"why?"

"..he could've just gone to steal some more of her inventions."

"..and I expected that, but when I looked in.."

"w..what happened?"

"He was.. crying.. well, at least, I think so.."

"Really now?"

"I'm serious, Maki. You know how there's a operating table in the middle of the lab?"

"..yes, of course."

"He put a flower on there. Asphodel."

"nyeh.. so?"

"Do you guys know what asphodel means?"

"my..my regrets follow you to the grave." 

"..yeah, that's right."

"Nyeeeh..i guess it makes sense, now.."

"What do you mean, Himiko?"

"Well, I saw him, after the trial. He was... walking to the **Ultimate Entomologist's Lab**. I didn't want to follow him, so I just watched and... hid behind a few corners."

"Did you know what he was doing?"

"No.. I just saw.. flowers... in his hands." Realization. Surprise. I'm sorry, so sorry, so stupid.

"..Stay right here for a moment."

Dash off, grabbing a book, rushing back.

Flipping through pages.

"Can.. you tell me some descriptions of the flowers?"

Himiko looks over his shoulder, takes the book, and flips through it, dog-earing the pages filled with pictures of the flowers she recognized faintly, that one dark night. The colors were vivid in her mind, and they swirled around, like magic, to fit a coherent image in her head. 

Silence, the only sound was moving pages.

"..here." Himiko handed Shuichi back the book. "I.. don't want to read it. The meanings on those flowers."

The first dog-eared page.  _Flip._

_Carnation (Pink): "I'll never forget you."_

_Carnation (Striped): "Wish I could be with you."_

He swallowed.

The second dog-eared page.  _Flip._

_Sweetpea: "thank you for a lovely time."_

His hair covered his face.

The third dog-eared page.  _Flip._

_Zinnia (Mixed): Thinking (or in memory) of an absent friend._

Choking on the lump in his throat that refused to go away, guilt and sorrow and _if only if only_ filling his mind.

The fourth (and final) dog-eared page.  _Flip._

_Gladioli: "I'm really sincere."_

water. 

Splashing down.

No particular source.

Or maybe, it was from multiple?

Multiple people?

Would anyone cry for such a soul, filled with deceit?

If so, what was it?

Tears of guilt?

Tears of regret?

Tears of sorrow?

Tears of happiness?

What, exactly was it?

The ink-scrawled pages gave no answer.

The ink-scrawled pages filled with writing from a angel.

all in white.

With a smile, and gone in an instant, crushed.

Maybe it was the tears soaking the earth.

Maybe it was the grasping and tearing at grass, desperate for something to hold on to.

Something, anything.

Maybe it was because these were the words of a child, a child.

A child, just like them.

With the world on their shoulders and no way to unburden their load. 

He was not the monster

that they knew?

why?

Why, why, why?

Three children sat alone in a place filled with death.

Three children let go of their past in a place filled with death.

Three children said their goodbyes to thirteen children; in that place filled with memories.

 

Where the three children previously sat, there was only one flower left, small and indistinct, slightly wilted, beautiful all the same.

_Cyclemen: "goodbye."_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..did i do well?

**Author's Note:**

> "..It was both of their faults."


End file.
